Testimony~tes·ti·mo·ny~noun
open declaration or profession, as of faith.
Revelation 12:11-And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
Everyone that has come to know the Lord Jesus Christ has a testimony. It is our responsibility as Christians to share ours with others. Your testimony is meant to uplift, encourage, give hope and most importantly share what the Lord has done for you! God is a respector of no persons's what he has done for one he will do for all.
As a child growing up, my family did not attend church. They believed in God, but church was not a priority. When I began my walk with God I knew absolutely nothing about Him, which now I find sad. My journey began when my husband became addicted to drugs and alcohol.
When I met my husband I knew he was a drinker, but so was I. Everyone we knew drank I didn't really see it as a big deal, I was used to it my father was an alcoholic. I remember growing up telling my mother I would NEVER live with an alcoholic...I later learned...never say never and never tell anyone what you would do and not do when it comes to your spouse or someone you love.
Eventually, the 6 pack a day became a 12 pack a day. The more he drank, the more I become to hate alcohol. I hated everything about it, the smell, the taste, the way people acted while they were under the influence. It finally got to the point to where I did not drink or want to be around him or anyone else that drank.
A dear friend of ours had been inviting us to church. I will never forget the day I walked into Living Way Ministries. We walked in and tears just started flowing, I cried the whole service. I did not understand why, but I do now.
Finally, the alcohol wasn't enough for him, he turned to pain pills (Lortab), then to cocaine. I knew something was going on, I knew he was doing more than drinking. He began to stay up all night, being very vague with his comings and goings, even starting arguments just to have an excuse to leave the house. Of course, leaving the house would go from a few hours to a few days.
I remember the day I actually caught him smoking cocaine. It was 2 am, about 40 degrees outside, and he was still sitting on the back deck. I quietly opened the door and there he stood with a pipe up to his mouth, he turned around; his eyes wide open looking like a deer caught in headlights. I told him I was done, to get out of my house, I refused to live with a crack head. He comes in the house, head down promising he will never do it again. How nieve I was.
Without all the gory details, his downward spiral continued as did mine. I was most miserable, crying myself to sleep many nights watching the man I loved with every fiber of my being become a person that I did not know. The man that always took care of his family was now a man that only thought of himself, who always provided, now unable to provide. The cut off and late notices were filling the mailbox everyday, the bill collectors constantly calling.
I was still going to church, hungering and thirsting for God's word. I soaked it up with everything I had and never could get enough, all the while Gary was still out in his own world. We were living two separate lives, his drug filled, mine God filled. One night he was doing and saying everything in his power to start a fight, I was at my end. I dropped to my knees in the kitchen and screamed out to God to help me...he laughed and walked out the door, that was the turning point!
That very moment, I knew that I was in a battle with satan for my husband's life, I knew I had the power to defeat him...I just had to do it with God's Word. John 10:10- The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. Satan was out to kill my husband, steal and destroy everything we had.
Up until that point, I was trying to fix it within my ownself. I had to get my hand's out of it and leave it all in God's hands. That was the hardest thing to do. As human's we think we can fix everything, by me trying to work on this situation I was limiting God. He had a plan, He knew this battle was going to happen, He knew the ultimate outcome, I did not...I was doing nothing but hindering.
Sunday morning I went to church as always. I had spent most of the night praying for God to give me guidance. During service the pastor was preaching and going through the aisles, she stopped and put her hand on my shoulder and said "God says be still, He knows your needs and He is working" I knew immediately what she meant, I had decided to start divorce proceedings, but I know now that was not part of God's plan.
Monday, (Memorial day, how fitting) he had been gone several days on a binge. I was at a friends house, my phone rang from a number I did not recognize and he was on the other end asking me to bring him some clothes...WHAT! First words that come out of my mouth are you high? Well, the friends husband (who was also partaking in drugs, but that is another story) says oh *$%^ no, I am going to talk to him. I knew that was my clue to go home because that meant Gary would be coming home with him and I just did not want to see him. I received a phone call about 10 that night, Gary said he was done and wanted to come home, my flesh wanted to tell him too late, but I had to be obedient. I calmly said I never told you to leave. He came home, we cried and he was up all night praying and reading the Bible. He knew the Word, he was brought up in the Word, his father was a Baptist preacher.
The next day, he met with my pastor. The pastor called me and told me I had a new man coming home to me! Praise God! Gary, was at church everytime the doors were opened, he was on fire for God, he shared his testimony how God delivered him from the drugs with no withdrawals, no cravings, nothing...He was healed! This was a miracle! Gary was no ordinary addict, he consumed at least a twelve pack a day, ten to twelve Lortab's a day, and close to three thousand dollars a month worth of cocaine. If this was not a miracle I don't know what is. February 2012, he will be five years clean and sober, still serving God, still sharing his testimony, member of a prison ministry and ministering to other addicts that God can and will heal.
Not only did God heal Gary, he healed me, and our marriage. Our prayer was for God to restore the love we once had, to heal the wounds, to put all the ugly into the sea of forgetfullness. God, has gone above and beyond. There are so many things that I don't remember through this journey, mostly the ugly and I thank God for that.
I realize in telling my testimony, I also told you Gary's, but in order to tell mine I had to share his. Through all this, I have learned to trust God in everything, to be still and know that He is God, to know that you have to "Let Go and Let God". In the beginning I was always trying to fix Gary, I truly believed my love for him would cure him...I was so very wrong. The only one that could "fix" Gary was God and He did not let me down!
Every opportunity we have, we share this with others. In the hopes, that our trial will minister to someone else that is going through the same. Is is a pretty story, no it's not, is it something that you want everyone to know, no it's not. But, if we don't tell this to just one person, that may have been the person that needed to hear it the most. I don't ever want to miss the opportunity to share God's love with one person.
God is good. He is faithful, just, righteous, merciful, longsuffering. He is our provider, our healer, our deliverer, our fortress, our strong tower, our refuge, our strength, our light, our shield, our truth and ALL of His promises are true. Get to know Him, study His Word, know your promises in Him!
